THE SUPER TEAM. YEARS IN THE MAKING. FULLY LOADED.
It started three years ago as a Discord DM titled "don't tell anyone yet." It became a group chat. The group chat became a spreadsheet. The spreadsheet became a lease on a treehouse behind the THEOD.NET offices that legal still doesn't know about, and a quiet promise that when the time was right, we'd finally let it all hang out.
We've spent years hoarding, scouting, and squeezing every last acorn we could get our paws on. No more holding back. Today we finally get down to business. Today, THEOD.NET is proud to finally show you our nuts - the whole sack of them, out in the open, for the whole world to handle.
3
YEARS SPENT BUILDING UP THE SACK
48,213
NUTS BURIED (DEEP)
6
NUTS RECOVERED
14
NDAs SIGNED TO KEEP THIS TIGHT
🌰 THE STOCKPILE 🌰
Six squirrels. One dream. Zero acorns actually spent.
🐿️
Sn1per Nutkin
Entry Fragger
🌰 Nuts on hand: 1,204
First through every door. First to drop a nut, too - but he's got a whole sack more where that came from.
🐿️
Bushy 'Clutch' Tailwind
In-Game Leader
🌰 Nuts on hand: 892
The tail is not for balance. The tail is for presentation.
🐿️
Agent Acorn
Support
🌰 Nuts on hand: 3,001
Never spends a single nut. Doesn't have to - he just sits on a fat stockpile and lets it speak for itself.
🐿️
Peanut
Analyst
🌰 Nuts on hand: 12
Technically a legume, not a nut at all. We don't discuss size in the locker room.
🐿️
Chairman Chestnut
Head Coach
🌰 Nuts on hand: classified
Keeps his numbers under wraps, but word around the treehouse is he's packing more than anyone lets on.
🐿️
Fluffy McGee
AWPer
🌰 Nuts on hand: 640
Forgets where he buried half of them. Somehow still delivers a full load when it counts.
THE ACORN COUNCIL
Leadership. Allegedly.
Chief Nut Officer
Final say on all things nut-related. Hands-on with every part of the operation, personally.
VP of Burying Things & Forgetting Where
Runs the long-term vision. Buries it somewhere deep and hopes it grows.
Head of Scouting
Currently up a tree, feeling around for the next big one. Send smoke signals.
Director of Chirping Aggressively at Nothing
Morale department. Very hands-on. Very loud.
JOIN THE DRAY
A group of squirrels is called a "dray." A group of THEOD.NET fans who got in early and got a good look at our nuts before anyone else is called "early." Get in there while it's still warm.